When I ended my internship last year I never could have imagined how much I would miss doing social work. For some people seeing the awful and unjust things that are common in the field leave them feeling defeated and sad. What I have realized after taking a break this summer and now being back in it for the past two weeks is that it makes me feel alive in a way that I'm unsure words could explain. On my first day I attended a case consultation and though the cases that were presented were frustrating, hard, and even tear jerking I could feel a part of me waking up. A part of me that had gone into hibernation over summer and a part of me I didn't realize I had missed as much as I had. It is easy in my everyday life to forget about what else is out there and while the things that remind me are hard to both see and hear I am happy to be reminded.

Suttons Bay Weekend

This past weekend felt like the perfect way to end the summer. In California it seems we measure our summer months by when school ends and when school begins. In Michigan summer seems to end when the 90 degree days suddenly turn into 60 degree days. This past weekend really felt like the end of summer as Kate's (my roommate) parents started pulling the boats and dock out of the water for the winter, and we started digging through the coat closet to pull out what would be needed for the months to come.

On Friday, Kate and I stocked up on road trip snacks and began the four hour journey that would lead to a weekend filled with new experiences! Before we left Kate had told me that her dad wanted to take us fishing. I have never been fishing, that I can remember, and I was excited to try it. When we got up there we packed up a cooler and set out to do some "trolling." Both of her parents seemed pretty sure that we would not be catching any fish. Maybe it was beginners luck but I caught a 18 pound Salmon! It was both exciting and way more challenging than I had through. I still have a bruise on my stomach from where the pole rested.

Kate's dad telling me what to do!

I have to admit I got a case of the giggles

After we caught him we tied him to the side of the boat and I was starting to feel bad for him, who actually ended up being a her. Her mouth was moving and the poor thing took forever to die.

Kate and I after the successful catch!

There she is!

Trying to hold this thing was the hardest thing ever! It was slimy and very very heavy!

So we ended up smoking the salmon but this is before that whole process. There was so much!

On Saturday it rained the whole day so we explored the town a little bit in the morning and then watched the football game (GO BLUE!) and relaxed. That night we went to a restaurant where I tried smelt fish for the first time. Good thing it was fried because apparently when eating smelt you eat the whole fish minus the head aka tail and all ewww, but I had to try it!

Sunday was a little windy but a beautiful day so I was able to take some pictures. So here is where I spent my weekend and will be spending my Thanksgiving!

This is from the stairs right across the road from Kate's house.

And this is zoomed in a little bit but is taken from Kate's deck. The water is unbelievable! The teal water is really shallow and goes out for quite a while. Then, the point that is dark blue is the drop off point. I can't wait to swim here next summer!

Heading North

I am almost done with my first week of real life here in Michigan. I have gone to internship for my 16 hours a week and I have gone to two of my four classes. I have one more class tomorrow and then I am going on my first little weekend adventure to see the northern part of Michigan.

I will be traveling to a little town that looks something like this

My roommate Kate is from Suttons Bay and is being gracious enough to take me home with her for the weekend. I have looked at some pictures of this lake front town and have been itching to check it out, not to mention be by some body of water again, even if it is a lake and not the ocean. While I am very excited to go I am finding a side of me that is surprisingly going to miss my new home/room in Ann Arbor. I have only been here for two weeks now but apparently I am more attached that even I was aware of.

Here are just a few little peeks at my humble abode

It is actually quite difficult to take a good/whole picture of the room so hopefully this paints somewhat of a picture.

See you on Sunday Ann Arbor! I will miss you!

"It's a Michigan thing"

I have been living in Ann Arbor for 12 days and while at first I wanted to get on the plane back to California with my mom, I am growing to love it. I am learning all the Michigan things, like weird hanging lights, indoor tracks at any and every gym, Michigan time (aka your classes start 10 min past the time they say they start), the subtle accent that now my roommates are insisting I have. My school is only a short walk from my house and in between is pretty much everything I need. Thus once winter comes I will only need to drive to and from internship and to and from the grocery store, hopefully I can survive that much.

Last Friday my wonderful roommate and I roamed around the city and she introduced me to Cupcake Station aka my safe haven for the next year.

Peanut Butter cupcake! Yum

On Saturday I went to my first football game and realized the full blown craziness that occurs on home game days here in Ann Arbor. The streets were filled with people and there are parties, music, and maize and blue colors everywhere. The whole day was super fun and I am looking forward to the next game!

Today was my first day of internship and while I am absolutely terrified to drive there in the snow I enjoyed my first day and I am very excited to start. Kate took this "first day of internship" picture of me :)

Also today, Kate and I went on a little shopping/dinner date. I bought some snow gear which I am beyond excited to wear.

Tomorrow classes start and I am excited and looking forward to them!!!!

Choosing to be grateful

Last week at internship I had a client, a middle schooler, who was doing poorly in school. When prompted on what was going on, she said she is stressed at school about the physical abuse her two baby sisters endure daily from her mother's boyfriend. I talked with this girl more and the other intern on the case made a report.
The next day I found myself on the way to the gym and not wanting to go with every ounce in me. My mind flashed to her and I started thinking about the concept of choosing to be grateful. This happened again when I started dreading going to my class that same day. I am fortunate to be able to go to a gym and college and enjoy all the other things I am blessed with, and if my biggest stress is that I have a paper to write or I think my teacher is boring while this little girl is busy stressing about if her sisters will come for the weekend with bruises all over, wow I have a lot to be thankful for.
I have been working on choosing to be grateful and more so act grateful. My class is no less boring, that paper still has to be written, and that workout is going to be hard but my outlook has changed. I feel blessed to struggle through a workout, that I am physically able to do so while so many cannot. I feel blessed to be in college so that I can help people like this girl. I am working on acting on these feeling, acting grateful.

Closing one chapter to open another

The idea of graduating college is so surreal. The reality that I am about to close this chapter, a chapter that is over and can never be reopened. Since I can remember there have been those adults that have always said "enjoy being a kid it goes by fast" "enjoy high school it will fly by" "enjoy college they are the best days of your life." As I go through my last month of school I can't help but feel like I am just checking off chapters in a book

Childhood: Check

High school: Check

College: Check

And I know the big ones are still to come, like grad school, marriage, children, etc. It's just weird to think of never ever ever being a kid again or being in college again and this summer will be my last summer.

I guess all I'm saying is that it is weird...growing up is weird

"You live in two different worlds"

I was told this today by a man I work with. I was asking him if a child abuse report should be made on one of the families I saw today. In my description of the what was going on I kept saying "it's so sad"

"it's just so sad"

I kept saying it because I wanted to hear out loud what I was feeling, I kept saying it because words can not express those feelings but I wanted to keep trying.

"You live in two different worlds"

Not everyone grows up like we did.

Was all he had to say to shut me up.

I leave sometimes, and drive the entire 45 minutes home in silence because I feel that no words are worth uttering after all that I saw that day. No words could do justice to the injustices and no thoughts would make things "right."

Not until I get off the off ramp or until a friend calls, do I snap back into reality

My reality that is.

I live in two worlds, how do I mesh the two?

I want to go to a $300 concert in the park

He is scared to walk to the park

I am going to Europe

They haven't been to the other side of the city

I am sick so my mom drives 2 hours in traffic and 2 hours back to bring me home

Their mom lives down the street and stops by once a week, if their lucky

I knew that this year would change me but I wasn't sure how much.

I can't complain without seeing their faces and realizing how little I have to complain about

I look at my parents in a whole new light

I strive to grasp every opportunity at hand

I try to live thankfully because actions speak far greater than words

I travel from world to world but when I leave one, I never truly leave.

In each world I am very aware of the other

Out in the field I am very aware of where I come from and what I will go home to

At home I am very aware of all I have seen and experienced in the field

I hope I live my life reflecting that, both worlds

There is a lot to learn from each